Sent: June 7, 2016 11:50 AM
To: Rice, Grace
Subject: Charlotte's Grade 1 Wish List
Hi Grace,
You'll get a kick out of this one, I'm sure. With the end of the school year fast approaching, there have been lots of discussions in our house about who might be in Charlotte's class for next year, Grade 1?
While I'm not entirely comfortably about the ethical connotations that this message might suggest, I did promise Charlotte that I would pass along her "Wish List" preferences to Mme. Rice (assuming for a moment that Shannon Park has the ability or desire to adjust class rosters based on the desires of a six year old)...
Nonetheless, here it is.
Top Picks for Charlotte for Grade 1:
* Zachary Rainault (aka. "Mr. Z")
* Adelynn Austin
* Julia Johnston
Additional candidates for "The Charlotte Taylor Collective":
* Gus Harvey
* Julia Johnston
* Bella Mongraw
* Nica Gow
* Payton Spruin
* Tristan Welsh
* Alex Bruce
As you can see, she has put a considerable amount of thought into it.
You should know that this little experiment in social manipulation was born of fire and ice.
Charlotte has studied her class photo at great length these past few weeks and has chaired a number of dinnertime family group conferences on the subject.
After weeks of psychological profiling and weighing up the pros and cons of who follows the rules, who uses bad words, and who pushed who, she finally developed a comprehensive three-star ranking system to build her cast of characters.
Fortunately, after numerous iterations, Charlotte eventually spotted the errors in her three-star ranking system (where everyone got a three), and adopted a more comprehensive and discriminatory five-star ranking system (like the one she saw on the Trivago advertisement).
I'm not quite sure what to make of it all, but Michelle calls it "Social Engineering: 101".
What is now clear to the Taylor family dinner-time committee, is that in all iterations, Zachary Rainault came out on top as the clear winner every time.
You might also be interested to know that Charlotte has indicated that she would love to have Mme. Rice as her teacher again next year, because "Mme. Rice is the bestest teacher in the whole wide world!" "...especially when she gives me harder work". Just as long as Mme. Rice doesn't mind climbing the stairs, because Grade 1's get to go upstairs, you know.
You were the one who taught her to write these kid's names, so I figured you would enjoy a chuckle at the clarity of thought and dogged determination of it all.
As her parents; we prefer to keep out of school decision-making and so please do not put any actual weight to this email. Instead, we simply wish to pass along the wishes of our daughter (who thankfully, cannot use email herself just yet).
From our perspective, if there is any chance that the kid can be placed with her BFF's in next year's class roster, then bonus; if not, then we view that as the just being one of the inevitabilities of life. In hitting 'send', I formally discharge our promise to a six year old that we would pass her wishes along to her teacher. We trust this email finds you in good humour and if nothing else, provides a good laugh.
Jokes aside, Michelle and I do want to thank you for all your hard work with the kids this year. Especially in keeping us so well informed and up to date with the weekly messages. Watching Charlotte's progress at the school has been really great.
With bated breath and great interest, we look forward to what the crazy kid comes up with next year, as a formidable Grade 1.
Regards,
Will Taylor
Charlotte's Dad.
--
Nova Scotia,
Canada
---------- Message ----------
From: Rice, Grace
Date: 7 June 2016 at 16:58
Subject: Re: Charlotte's Grade 1 Wish List
To: Will Taylor
Hi Will,
That's great! Haha, thank you for the laugh! I am sure that Charlotte will enjoy herself very much in grade 1! She's such a pleasure to teach and has had a great year in Primary!
Enjoy your evening,
Grace Rice
Primary French Immersion
Shannon Park Elementary
