18 May 2013

The Honest Toddler: A Child's Guide to Parenting

Bracingly candid, sweetly indignant, and writing with an unchecked sense of entitlement, the Internet’s wildly popular Honest Toddler delivers a guide to the parenting techniques he deems acceptable (keep the cake coming and the apple juice undiluted).

The toddler stage can be a rude awakening for parents, whose sweet infants morph, seemingly overnight, into tyrants ready to turn simple errands into hellish and humiliating experiences. Trying to convince your defiant darling to do something as simple as put on her shoes can feel like going to war. It’s not all blood, sweat, and tears, though. Toddlers can be charming little creatures, with their unfettered enthusiasm, wide grins, and ready hugs. In fact, what makes toddlers so fascinating is their unique blend of cute and demonic behavior. A toddler will take your hand and say "I love you," then slap you in the face.

Now, The Honest Toddler provides an indispensable guide to parenting that places the toddler’s happiness front and center. Who better to instruct parents on the needs of toddlers than a toddler himself?

In a voice that is at once inimitable and universal, The Honest Toddler turns his sharp eye to a wide range of subjects, including play date etiquette, meal preparation, healthy sleep habits, and the pernicious influence of self-appointed experts and so-called doctors. The result is a parenting guide like no other, one that will have moms and dads laughing through tears as they recognize their own child in the ongoing shenanigans of one bravely honest toddler.

The Honest Toddler: A Child's Guide to Parenting: http://soa.li/6jbOO8J

Charlotte's New House

'Guess what, Charlotte,' Mum prompts in the supermarket grocery line, 'Mum and Dad bought you a new house.'
'Where is it?' Charlotte asks, looking in the shopping cart.
'It's in Dartmouth!' says Mum, triumphantly.
There was a slight pause, and Charlotte's wee brow furroughs.
'How we gonna bring it home to our place, Mummy?'

Bless her innocent little soul.
Dad






16 May 2013

Email from Auntie Annette in Australia

Dear Charlotte,
I know mum will cover this as well but let me re state : liquid eyeliner is rarely if ever the preferred option at 530 am while applying at the kitchen bench.
The makeup you thought looked fresh and had you saying this is good for 530 will look heavy and caked under flouro lights vs the poorly lit dream world of the kitchen bench - life lessons to learn very early :)
And ps the back of a cab is excellent texting time once you fasten your shoes.

More to follow.

Love Auntie Annette (your fairy godmother)

12 May 2013

Happy Mother's Day

'It my birfday?' Charlotte asks, eyeing the gifts sitting on the counter.
'Nope. Those are for Mamma and Nanny. Do you know why, Tig?'
'Umm, Santa Clause is coming?'
Nanny laughs.
'Nope.' I say. 'It's Mother's Day. Ya silly Goose!'
'Oh yeah. Silly me... I help you open the presents, Mammy!'
Smiling from ear to ear, Michelle pulls Charlotte onto her lap, and kisses her on the top of the head. 'OK. Sure thing.'







And Happy G'ma's Day to Niccy Niccy, and soon to be Mother, Aunty Lucy....